


Sleepless

by ialwayslikedthetie



Series: First Times [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Not Really Character Death, Shower Sex, bottom!Steve, top!Danny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 01:48:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5398259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ialwayslikedthetie/pseuds/ialwayslikedthetie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is having nightmares about losing Danny, and he has to go and see his partner to put his mind at rest. Danny knows exactly how to take care of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleepless

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a warning, there is a major character death scene, but it is *not real* because there is NO way I could actually hurt my babies! This warning is just so it doesn't catch you unawares :)
> 
> This is a fic I found sitting on my hard drive; I wrote it about six months ago and shelved it because I wasn't publishing at the time, so I got it out, dusted it off and edited it.
> 
> (Also, I would like to dedicate this one to Max! Hope you like it!)
> 
> So please, enjoy!

_They pulled into the parking space outside the deli, with Danny in full rant mode._

_"I can't believe you actually think that is a good sandwich filling!"_

_Steve switched the engine off and placed his hand on the steering wheel impatiently. "Danno, rather than criticising my choice of lunch, can you just go get it for me?"_

_Danny stepped out onto the sidewalk, closing the door to the Camaro behind him and leaning back in through the open window. "Oh I'll go get you a sandwich, babe. But not_ that _abomination! Pineapple does not belong on_ or in _savoury bread-based snack foods..."_

_Steve glared at him. "C'mon Danny, just get me what I asked for..."_

_"Nope, I'm getting you cajun chicken, mature cheddar and sliced tomato... you can thank me later." He patted the side of the car and walked away, the bell over the deli door sounding as he strutted through it._

_Steve sighed and thumped his head back against the head rest. Why did that man hate Hawaiian food so much?_

_He prodded at the radio, trying to find something worth listening to, trying not to think about the curve of Danny's ass as he'd walked away. His partner was going to be the end of what little sanity he had left..._

_Lost in thought, it took him two seconds longer than it should have to register the three gun shots echoing from the store._

_He was out of the car in seconds, leaving the door wide open in his haste to get to his partner. As he ran in through the entrance, almost taking the little bell off the jamb, a man was running in the opposite direction, gun in hand. Steve grabbed him by the throat, slamming him sideways into the wall and knocking him unconscious, simultaneously wrestling the gun from his grip. He barrelled into the main part of the store, taking everything in._

_Robbery gone wrong, Danny must have interrupted it. One man on the floor, a gun dropped by his side, a bullet wound in his chest and a blank look in his eyes. Three terrified customers hiding behind their upturned tables. The deli owner crying behind the counter. And Danny._

_The blonde was slumped against the front of the counter, one hole in his shoulder and one in his chest. Blood everywhere. Too much blood._

_Steve was at his side in an instant, dropping the gun and placing both hands over Danny's chest wound. Someone was screaming for an ambulance, and Steve realised it was him._

_"Danny, Danno, stay with me buddy!" He pushed hard against the bloody injury, trying to keep pressure, and looked into his partner's face, where a pair of terrified blue eyes met his, "Danny you just gotta hold on!"_

_The Jersey man gasped in oxygen and tried to speak, but he was choking on blood, "Ste- Steve..."_

_"Don't talk, D. You're gonna be okay, you're gonna be fine!" But he knew deep down, that wasn't true. There was so much blood. He tried to push those thoughts away, but they kept invading his brain and making tears spike in the corners of his eyes. "You just gotta stay with me, buddy, c'mon..."_

_"Grace..." Danny's hand came up to grip his wrist, and he looked down, his stomach twisting when he saw all of the bright red soaking his best friend's white shirt. When his eyes went back to Danny's his lids were drooping, his mouth was moving but no sound was coming out._

_It was the most gut-wrenching sight he would ever see. He had to move one hand from the blonde's chest to cup his cheek, try to keep his attention. "You'll see Grace again, buddy, come on. Danny, you gotta stay with me!"_

_The detective coughed up more blood. "Ste- 'M sorry..." His friend's hand slipped from his wrist and Danny's eyes dulled. "I..."_

_"Danny, no don't do this!"_

_He gripped his friend's clothes, his face, his hands, as the life drained out of him, crying out his name over and over._

_But he was gone._

_Danny was gone..._

 

Steve shot directly upright in bed, tears streaming down his face and sweat pouring over his neck and chest, still shouting Danny's name.

"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!" He swung his feet to the floor and rubbed his face, trying to calm his breathing and his racing heart.

That was a bad one... seemed like every night this week he'd had a nightmare about losing his partner...

He'd seen him drown, burn, fall... his subconscious was trying to rip his heart to pieces night after night.  He cried out wordlessly into his own hands in frustration.

Danny. This had all started when the team had brought him back from Korea. They'd been back less than six days, and Steve had lied out of his ass when he said he was fine. He was on one week's leave from Five-0, to recover physically, but he hadn't told anyone about the dreams.

They'd begun with seeing Jenna die over and over, then they'd somehow become his own death, his team arriving too late... and then he'd spent an entire day thinking about the memory of seeing Danny's face when he'd found Steve in the back of that truck, when he'd climbed in and untied him, rescued him... and that night he'd dreamed about losing Danny. And the next. Night after night of losing his best friend.

Each one starting with some mundane daily task, like getting lunch or getting a call to a crime scene, and then it developed into some horrible situation that quickly spiralled out of Steve's control, and always resulted in him losing his partner. The man who meant so much to him, too much to ever be able to tell him.

But tonight, it had probably been the worst. He hadn't seen the look in his partner's eyes so clearly in the other dreams. There had been blood and death, yes, but never had he seen that fear so close, so intense, the life and vitality that encapsulated Danny leaving those baby blues...

He couldn't take it, the scene was echoing around his head and wouldn't go away even when he screwed his eyes shut. He had to see Danny, he had to check he was okay.

He pulled some sweatpants on and a t-shirt, shoving his bare feet into some sneakers and grabbing his key chain. He glanced at the dash clock when he climbed into the Silverado and realised it was 3am. This was ridiculous, he told himself as he revved the engine and pulled out of his driveway, he couldn't go to Danny's house at 3am on a Thursday night. He shouldn't, it was insane. It had been a dream, he knew Danny hadn't been shot, not really... but he still had to see it for himself.

He finally pulled up outside Danny's apartment, after circling the block four times while trying to convince himself to go home again, but eventually giving in to the voice that required reassurance. He was so glad he still had his friend's key.

He slipped into the dark living room, quickly disarming and then resetting the alarm before it sounded. He made his way through the silent apartment and into Danny's bedroom, where the blonde was sound asleep and snoring lightly into his pillow.

The Jersey man was lying on his front, most of the covers thrown off him, wearing a pair of blue boxers and nothing else. His arm was dangling off the side off the side of the double bed, fingers trailing on the carpet, and his normally well-kept hair was a fluffy mess.

He looked peaceful. Alive. Steve crouched down nearby and leaned back against the wall, splaying his legs out in front of him while watching as his partner breathed deeply and mumbled something in his sleep. His fingers twitched against the floor, still active even when fast asleep, back rising and falling rhythmically. He was breathing, that was all Steve needed to see.

Steve’s eyes scanned down the length of the blonde's body. Okay, maybe it wasn't _all_ he needed to see...

He should go home now, satisfied that Danny was alive and well, but he was tired. So very tired. The last week of insomnia and constant nightmares every time he actually managed to close his eyes and sleep was catching up with him. And now the adrenaline from tonight was seeping out of his body, his eyes were drooping closed.

It would be fine if he just caught a quick nap, then he could be out and gone before the Jersey man even knew he’d been there.

Danny was okay. His best friend was alive.

 

Danny woke at around 5.30am to a man snoring in his room, and it wasn't him.

Sleepy and confused, he pushed up from the bed and rolled on to his side to discover his Navy SEAL partner fast asleep, sitting on his bedroom floor and leaning back against the wall.

He looked like hell; pale, gaunt, with dark circles under his eyes and hair dishevelled, wearing sweats and an old t-shirt.

Danny was more than a little surprised to see the brunette, seeing as he had avoided the whole of the team like the plague since his return from Korea. He'd insisted he was fine, but the blonde had known better. Trouble was, if Steve McGarrett didn't want help, there wasn't much you could do aside from wait.

It looked like the wait was over.

He stretched and crawled out of the bed, throwing the cover over onto his side in preparation, and then knelt down next to Steve.

"Hey, you big goof..." he whispered, tapping his boss on the shoulder, "Steven, wakey wakey."

Steve emitted a grunt and shifted, but didn't wake. Well, this was going to be fun... he stood up and gently lifted Steve's arms, getting his hands under his armpits and managing to lift him a little, but the guy was solid muscle and heavy. The SEAL stirred enough to get his feet under him and help sleepily hold some of his own weight, mumbling something incoherent, and Danny wrapped his arms around the taller man to support him and guide him across the room to the bed.

He sat him on the edge of the mattress, where his head sagged to his chest and his shoulders drooped, and knelt down to slip his sneakers off. There were so many times he'd thought about kneeling in front of this man, for completely different reasons, but he'd never thought he'd be taking off his boss's shoes and placing him in his bed. Steve in his bedroom was a fantasy, not a reality. Until now.

He threw the shoes into the corner and gently lowered the brunette's body to the side, bringing his legs up and tucking him under the covers. The guy was exhausted, and Danny wondered if he'd slept at all in the past week. He was a Navy SEAL, he'd been through BUDs and Hell Week, he'd been on missions where he was sleep deprived before. But right now he was drained, easily guided and malleable under the blonde's hands.

The detective fetched a glass of water from the kitchen and placed it on his bedside table, and crawled into the warmth of the bed again, with Steve just a few inches away.

The brunette roused a little, sensing he was somewhere comfortable and warm, no longer on the hard ground, and there was a solid, secure presence nearby. And he had to close that gap, it was important.

The person was heat and muscle and strength, but soft and supple, and as he slid his arm over them and buried his face into the side of their neck he smelled the remains of a familiar spicy musk and felt fine hair under his fingertips. And those strong hands that had pulled him from the floor were back, one snaking around under him to hold him close and the other covering his fingers where they tangled in chest hair.

He was asleep again in seconds. Safe.

 

Steve woke with a start, blonde hair in his face.

They'd both moved into the night, and now he was spooning his partner and holding onto the guy like he never wanted to let go.

And dear god, he didn't.

But it was all coming back to him now, and the implications of waking up in bed cuddling his male best friend were thundering through his brain.

A sleepy voice drifted to his ears, New Jersey accent thick and rough first thing in the morning. "I already texted Chin and said I wouldn't be in today. Said I had to look after you..." Danny stretched and rolled over to gaze at Steve from inches away. "You must have been tired, babe, 'cause it's 10am and that's very un-SuperSEAL of you to not be up at the crack of dawn and blowing something up already..."

Steve blinked slowly at him, trying to work out why Danny wasn't freaking out over him sneaking into his apartment.

"How're you feeling?" The blonde pulled himself into a sitting position and Steve, still quite fuzzy in the head, did the same thing, just in a slower and less coordinated way.

It was strange, he knew there was something very abnormal about the fact he was leaning up against Danny's headboard with the blonde less than a foot away from him, him wearing nothing but his underwear and Steve in what were effectively his pajamas. He'd had his arms wrapped about his partner, his best friend, and it had felt wonderful.

Anyone else would be freaking out, it would be uncomfortable, but Danny was currently handing him a glass of water like it was just another day at the office.

He took it graciously and gulped half of it down. "I uh... 'm okay..." He placed the glass on the side table and scrubbed at his face. He felt tacky and damp, disgusting...

Danny watched as Steve looked down at his sweaty shirt and pulled a funny face. He still wasn't entirely awake, looking adorably confused, but when he looked up at the detective he seemed... haunted.

The blonde reached out and placed his hand on his boss's shoulder. "Babe, c'mon, you're not okay. You broke into my apartment and slept on my floor. That's not normal human behaviour, not even for you..." The teasing tone left his voice, "Please talk to me."

Their eyes met, and Steve could see the openness and friendship in the steel blue, as much as Danny could see the pain and withdrawal in amongst the hazel-grey.

"Babe..." The Jersey man prompted, squeezing Steve's shoulder again.

"I... Danny, I don't wanna talk about it..." he shrugged the blonde's hand off him and slipped out from under the covers.

Danny sighed and turned to put his own feet on the carpet. "I'd say you do. I really don't think you came all the way over here to try out my mattress, Goldilocks..."

Images involving Danny and his mattress normally relegated to Steve's favourite dreams flicked through his mind, and he hoped to god his friend couldn't see the flush of red flowing up his chest and neck to his cheeks. No time to be thinking about that now.

But the detective was moving around the bed, coming to sit next to him, and he wasn't going to give up easily. He was a good man and he cared deeply, that's why he was Steve's best friend. He didn't want to unload these feelings onto the man, didn't want to share that vulnerability, but as the blonde caught his gaze again he realised he was safe. The safest he'd ever been.

He took a long deep breath and looked down at his hands in his lap. This would be tough. But if he didn't release the tight knot inside his chest, built up from night after night of horrific nightmares, he felt like he would implode.

"I... I've been having dreams. Bad dreams..." he looked back up at Danny, who was displaying the same quiet patience and understanding he always did when looking after his friends, the complete opposite of his day-to-day ranting and loud bolshy attitude. He was a conundrum, North and South, night and day... the cop and the father, and rarely a shade in between.

"Since Korea, since... I keep seeing things every time I close my eyes. And I hate it, I can't sleep. When I do, I wake up in a cold sweat and I... I can't keep going through it... I can't see the death every night..." he paused and watched his own fingers as they tangled with each other, having to find some release for his nervous energy.

"Is it Jenna?" Danny asked carefully.

Steve sighed. "At first... and then me... and then..." No, he couldn't say it. It was too much. He needed to leave, escape.

Danny watched as his boss stood and went to grab his shoes. "Steve, come on babe..."

But the brunette was panicking, heading for the door with his shoes in his hand. Danny couldn't let this happen, the guy needed to talk or he'd lose it, he was already showing the signs of slipping. He leapt up and stood in between Steve and the bedroom door, taking hold of the taller man's biceps.

"Steve, you _have_ to talk to me!"

"No, no I don't Danny, I can't!" The SEAL swept his hands away and tried to walk around him, but the blonde just stepped right back in front of him, placing a firm hand on his boss's torso. The brunette again went to move his block, his palm going against the other man's chest, and Danny grasped his wrist.

Sensory memory swept through his brain, his hand trying to keep the blood from seeping out of his friend, Danny gasping his name, his weak fingers wrapped around his wrist; he felt like he’d taken a punch to the gut. He looked down to stare at his hand, if anything to make sure there was no wound beneath it, like in the nightmare where Danny had died in front of him.

"Stop!"

That firm command halted him in his tracks. He let out a shaky breath, tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

"I can't..." he gasped, "I can't keep losing you..."

Danny moved his hand from Steve's chest to his chin, forcing him to meet his gaze again. "What are you talking about? You're not losing me..."

Steve squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, letting his sneakers drop to the floor.

"No... my nightmares..." His hand went to his face, trying to block the horrible visions filling his brain.

"I don't understand..." Danny's voice was soft again.

Steve finally made eye contact again, the pain finally becoming too much, exploding from his lips. "It's _you_ , okay? The person I see dying every night! It's you, Danny!" A sob tore from his chest. "It's you and I can't keep _seeing_ it, I can't bare to lose you again!"

There was utter silence for a moment, and a multitude of emotions passed over the detective's face; confusion, realisation, sadness, empathy... love...

His voice was soft and kind. "Oh, come here, you giant goof..." And then his arms were sliding around Steve. One under his arm and winding around his back, the other coming up around the opposite shoulder, his hands splaying solidly against his back and bringing him down into the most all-encompassing embrace the SEAL ever experienced.

Steve tensed for a moment, unsure of himself, but at Danny's next words, he let himself sag into his friend.

"I've got you, babe. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere..."

His usually tightly-guarded emotions finally overran him, the hard knot in his heart releasing, and he grasped at Danny's bare back and held him tightly against him, sobbing into his shoulder. Everything he always tried to hold in, the pain and anxiety, the fear and hope and love, just spilled through the cracks in his dam. The cracks that Danny had put there.

He was crying. All over his partner. What an idiot. And yet he couldn't stop, couldn't control it, he had finally let it all out, and it was like a tidal wave. He crushed the shorter man into him, as if he were trying the merge the two of them together.

Danny could barely breathe, but he didn't care. His partner, his best friend, the man he had secretly loved for so long, needed him. And there was no way he was going to interrupt the man's much-needed deliverance for something as comparatively unimportant as oxygen. So he waited until the wracking sobs let up and the brunette released his hold a little, before drawing in a deep breath.

He carded his fingers through the short brown hair and rubbed soothing circles into Steve's back as the taller man stayed hunched down, arms curled around him, as his breathing evened out and he buried his face into the crook of the blonde's neck.

After what could have been hours or just minutes, the SEAL dropped his arms away, and Danny pulled back from him. The guy looked wrecked. His shirt was soaked with tears and sweat, his skin tacky.

"C'mon babe, let's get you sorted..."

Danny grasped the hem of his boss's shirt and lifted it over his head. Steve numbly complied, so completely drained and letting his friend take full control. He felt weak and helpless as the blonde gently moved behind him and took hold of his hips, guiding him into the bathroom.

The detective leaned into the shower enclosure and turned the water on, before turning his attentions back to the taller man and tugging at his sweatpants.

"Take these off, you need a shower. I'll get you some stuff to change into, and some towels..." The blonde left the room, and Steve stared at himself in the mirror.

He had felt so vulnerable, but with Danny holding him and taking care of him, he was beginning to feel human again. That was why he needed him. That was why he loved him...

He slowly stripped off the dirty sweatpants, throwing them onto the laundry basket, and stepped under the spray. He stood with his forehead against the cool tiles for a long time, trying to come to terms with the emotions inside him. He was calmer now, and the tight feeling in his chest was gone. But now it had been replaced by the familiar confusion he often felt when presented with his partner being caring and gentle with him. Because he was in love with the blonde detective, there was no getting around it, and he knew his friend didn't see him that way, but it didn't stop him from having those feelings. His Danny, his perfect Danny.

A noise behind him made him turn, and suddenly the Jersey was at the door to the enclosure.

"You've been twenty minutes..."

He stuttered, his brain screaming at him that he was standing naked in front of the man he had a huge crush on, so all he could manage was "Yeah, uh, I..." before his words faltered.

The detective gave him a soft smile. Then he was dropping his boxers to the floor and kicking them to one side, joining Steve in the shower. Naked.

The brunette backed up, surprised by the move, trying desperately not to look down, to remain staring at Danny's face. "Um..." he began.

The blonde picked up the shower gel and a washcloth off the shelf, and waved his hand in a vague circle. "Turn around, Superman. You've obviously forgotten how showers work."

Steve followed the order, though he wasn't sure why, and his friend's strong hands began smoothing over his shoulders, smearing body wash down his back, made him screw his eyes shut and try to think about anything other than the fact that one of his happier dreams involving the Jersey man appeared to be coming true. He suddenly wished the shower was cold and not the perfect temperature it currently was.

While Danny's bare hand held him in place lightly at his waist, the washcloth moved carefully over his naked back, under his arms and down his ribs, down over his lower back and ass cheeks, and then down his thighs and calves. He bit the inside of his cheek, but despite fighting it he could feel himself getting hard. He moaned quietly. No, this couldn't happen, he couldn't let Danny know that he turned him on like this. He would freak out, discovering that his boss was harbouring these feelings.

The detective stood up straight again and pulled Steve around to face him before he could do anything to stop it. The blonde was looking up at his face fortunately, but he squeezed more gel into the cloth and rubbed it over the SEAL's chest and collarbone and down his arms, and when it reached his stomach his gaze followed it downward.

Steve screwed his eyes shut again, waiting for the adverse reaction from his partner; the anger or disgust, or whatever negative feeling it would induce in the Jersey man.

But the washcloth continued its journey without pause, smoothing over his abs and hips, and the fronts of his legs.

Danny was far from negative about the fact his boss appeared to have a massive erection in his shower. Quite the opposite. He was surprised, yes, because had he been asked just a few short hours before if Steve could possibly return any of his affections, he would have laughed. Because the brunette was straight as an arrow, right?

But apparently the sensations of Danny's hands running over his body had proven that assumption wrong, because though his body was rigid as he clamped his eyes closed when he realised his partner would spot the rather obvious hard on, he was definitely turned on. However, just in case it was simply a reaction to the combination of a massage and heat of the shower, he decided to take it slowly and monitor Steve’s reactions.

The blonde knelt in front of his boss, continuing his ministrations and skirting around the brunette's cock, washing his legs and feet first. Then he squeezed more body wash onto the cloth, running it up the inside of Steve's thighs, making the other man gasp and let out a stifled moan, opening his eyes.

He looked up to meet the SEAL's gaze, those startled hazel eyes staring down at him, as he knelt there smoothing bubbles around the base of Steve's dick. He waited to be pushed away, but when the taller man just continued to gaze at him, eyes flicking to his mouth when he licked his lips, Danny slid his hands down the other man’s shaft, squeezing gently.

The brunette gasped again and closed his eyes, throwing his head back into the shower spray. Rivulets of water ran down his body, and Danny used it to wash the soap away from his boss's cock, before leaning forward and taking the tip into his mouth. He was rewarded with a deep groan from his friend, and he took him in deeper, moving his hands slowly around to the man's muscular ass and positioning himself higher so he could lick around the throbbing head and suck gently, making Steve sigh and slip his fingers into Danny's wet hair.

Steve leaned his head back against the tiles. God, this felt amazing. Danny's lips were soft, his tongue smooth, and his slick mouth was so hot around his cock. The brunette gripped his partner's hair gently and moaned. He'd wanted this for so long, needed this, but never daring to hope he could have it. The man he loved and lusted after on a daily basis, the one who was always there and never turned his back on him, and he was now at his feet with his mouth wrapped around Steve's hard dick, giving him a world of pleasurable sensations. It was perfect.

Danny was working through a similar set of emotions in his mind. Because this was better than he'd imagined, and God had he imagined it a lot. In different settings, different situations, different ways... but none of it compared to the real feeling of Steve's delicious huge cock in between his lips, the vein running along the underside of his shaft pulsing against the blonde's tongue as he took him in deep, over and over, building speed. Under the remains of the body wash, he tasted wonderful, salty and hot and heavenly. The feeling of those strong fingers tangling into his hair was beyond erotic. He relaxed his throat, pushing forward and sliding Steve's dick down his tight throat.

"Fuck... Danny..." His boss's hands tightened, and the gratified whine in the man's voice was incentive enough for the detective. He pulled back and repeated the movement, and it brought more fantastic noises from the SEAL's mouth.

He hummed around the man's cock, and Steve moaned louder, the vibrations going straight to his balls.

The brunette looked down to take in the sight of his soaked, gorgeous partner on his knees, his own dick disappearing into his mouth repeatedly. He was a wet dream, had been on many an occasion, and there was no other way to describe that view than 'heavenly'.

As Danny pushed further forward, burying his nose into the brown curls at the base of his cock, Steve could feel his orgasm building in his abdomen.

"Fuck, Danny, I'm gonna come..." He tried to push the blonde away by his shoulders, knowing it was a very intimate act to release inside another person, but the detective's hands pushed his hips back against the wall and the hot water flowing down his body, combined with the sensations of Danny's mouth around him and his fingers digging into his flesh, took him over the edge.

He reactively bucked forward, but Danny's grip on his body held him back, and he pulsed down the man's throat as stars – no, entire fucking solar systems – exploded in his brain. He pulled on the blonde hair and his friend moaned around him, the extra vibrations making him writhe as Danny milked his cock with his mouth and stroked him through his orgasm.

Then the detective was on his feet in front of Steve, supporting him while he sagged forwards as he recovered from the intense release.

Steve slid his hands around the back of Danny's head and ducked down for a deep, sloppy, but passionate kiss, his tongue sliding over the blonde's when he opened up to him willingly, tasting himself in his partner's mouth. It was sensual, blissful.

His hands travelled down the other man's body, fingers slipping through the wet chest hair and following the treasure trail down to the golden curls residing around his cock. He was hard, and felt huge in Steve's hands, but Danny firmly pushed him away.

"No, babe. I'm taking care of _you_ , okay?"

Steve was beyond exhausted now; emotionally wrung out, and with endorphins freely flowing through his veins from his orgasm, he felt like a rag doll, a puppet only held up by strings.

Danny finished cleaning him off, tugged him out of the shower, leaving the water on for himself. He towelled his boss down, finding him once again pliant and docile under his mild grip.

He understood how deep Steve's exhaustion ran. A week's worth of sleep depravation wouldn't be solved by a shower and a few hours of sleep on a floor and in an unfamiliar bed. And coming as hard as he just did would make anyone sleepy.

Once he was dry, he guided the brunette back to the bed, where he'd put on fresh sheets and laid out some boxers and a shirt for his boss. But Steve pushed them away when Danny offered them, instead climbing into the bed completely naked and snuggling into the pillows.

The blonde leaned over him to draw the covers up, and Steve reached up to pull him into a moan-inducing kiss, his tongue exploring the detective's mouth lazily but thoroughly.

When Danny pulled back panting, he was so hard it hurt. He tucked the SEAL in, leaving him to slip back into peaceful slumber as he returned to the shower to clean himself up and relieve his own tension. He gasped his partner's name under the steady stream of hot water as he always tended to do when jerking off, but now with memories to aid him rather than just his imagination.

 

When Steve next woke it was nearly 7pm. He'd slept soundly since the shower and had got in the first full uninterrupted eight hours in over two weeks, including before and during his time in Korea.

He felt invigorated. And as the smell of cooking drifted into his nostrils from the other room, he remembered that he was in Danny's bed, in his apartment, and he also remembered why he had slept so peacefully.

The SEAL pulled on the discarded clean pair of boxers and shirt that Danny had offered him earlier, and went to find the man who had provided him with the gift of sound sleep.

Watching Danny work in the kitchen was a joy all in itself. The detective was facing the hob, away from Steve where he had just entered the room. He was wearing ass-hugging jeans and a black t-shirt which showed off the breadth of his shoulders, and he moved fluidly as he threw chopped vegetables into the wok with the chicken already cooking away in there, and tossed them around to mix them, draining the noodles in their pan and adding them in to the stir fry to absorb some of the sauces there.

Steve leaned against the doorjamb and watched the blonde for a few minutes, trying to figure out exactly what has going on. He didn't know what all this meant.

They looked after each other, they always had. But were sympathy blow jobs part of the arrangement now? Or had that been something more? He'd thought Danny was straight, he had an ex-wife and a kid... but then Steve was bi, so he of all people should know you couldn't guess someone's sexual preference by their previous relationships.

Danny loaded the hot stir fry onto a couple of plates and lifted them to take then to the table. When he turned, he spotted Steve.

"Hey sleeping beauty, how're you feeling?" Danny was trying to sound casual, but his mind was leaping to every possible scenario all at once. He was simultaneously glad Steve was up now, because he could end his internal speculation on how this conversation was going to go, and also scared his partner was awake, because this could be awkward as hell.

Yes, Steve had been turned on in the shower, but he'd been tired and maybe not thinking straight, and having someone rub their hands all over you when you were feeling emotionally vulnerable could have many results... What if he hadn't really wanted that? He'd moaned Danny's name, several times, but did that mean anything? He'd had several chances to stop it if he hadn't wanted it... right?

Steve was such a good man, always looking out for everyone ahead of himself. Fighting the good fight and letting himself fall by the wayside. He'd lost so many people, been left or screwed over by the rest... Danny couldn't understand why anyone would want to walk away from such a selfless human being. He had his faults, but so did Danny, so did everyone... but the man’s soul was faultless, and achingly beautiful.

But god, the guy really was a solid wall of muscle. If he was pissed, he could probably easily take Danny out before he had the chance to set the food down. Seeing his boss wearing his boxers also wasn't doing anything for sanity, waking some animalistic level of ownership in the primitive recesses of his brain. He pushed that away, trying to think clearly.

"I was just gonna come get you for food. Have you even eaten in the past week?" The plates were on the table now, at least his hands were free to defend himself.

Steve shook his head, because he hadn't been looking after himself properly and he was starving, and sat down at the table, looking up at Danny. "I feel a little under dressed." He indicated the minimal outfit he was sporting in comparison to his partner's fully dressed form.

Danny slid into the chair opposite and gave him a tentative smile. "Well, I can strip to my underwear if it would make you more comfortable?" He immediately wanted to smack himself in the face, his sarcastic humour was automatic sometimes, bypassing his brain-mouth filter.

Steve's eyes met his, searching for something, and the detective figured it was probably time for honesty. There was no forgetting what had happened. There was maybe a vague chance he could convince Steve it had been one of his strange dreams, but did he really want to bury this?

So he let his eyes say it, in the way they had always communicated before; without words. _Yes, it happened. Yes, I think it's a good thing. But if you don't want it, I understand._

His friend's eyes were unreadable for once, but the small smile, and the way his ankles slipped around Danny's to bracket his own feet under the table, said enough.

"Maybe later," Steve winked.

They shared a chaste smile, slightly embarrassed, as if they were teenagers out on a first date, unsure of how to proceed. And maybe, minus the teenager part, that's what it was...

They ate in companiable silence, each glancing up to the other occasionally, and with every other fleeting look their eyes would meet and one of them would flick their gaze away because it was all still new and surreal. Danny eventually untangled his feet and cleared the plates into the sink.

"Do you want a drink, babe?" He made his way to the fridge.

"A beer would be good." Steve followed sluggishly and stuck his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers, still feeling awkward and not knowing entirely what to do with his hands. This was stupid, why was it strange? This was Danny, for god's sake... He'd wanted him for so long, and something was finally happening, and all he could do was act like the kid at the end of the date who wanted to kiss his crush... so that's what he did.

Danny swung the fridge door shut and almost dropped the Longboards as Steve was suddenly in front of him, grasping his jaw and pulling him up for a kiss. It was tentative and careful, and so god damn exquisite. He blindly reached out and managed to place the bottles on the counter so he could snake his arms around his boss's waist and draw their bodies together as he allowed access to the brunette’s seeking tongue.

And suddenly it wasn't awkward anymore, because this was the unspoken acknowledgment that it wasn't just a blow job in the shower and moving on, it was the start of something. And as the kiss got deeper and more hurried, he realised it was specifically the beginning of something very hot and fiery. Something he'd ignored for so long, thinking the Navy SEAL couldn't possibly feel the same way.

Steve backed him into the fridge, making the contents rattle, grinding against him, and he was hard against the blonde's stomach. Danny's jeans were already stretching to contain him, and the confirmation that his partner wanted to take this further made him grow almost painfully hard, straining against the denim.

The brunette squeezed at the detective’s shoulders. Danny had taken care of him earlier, stopped him from returning the favour because he was patient and caring and just wanted Steve to have his own fill and get some rest. His heart swelled, because it just went to prove how selfless his best friend could be, reminded him exactly why he loved the Jersey man. Well not this time, Danny was going to get what he needed, what he deserved.

Steve let his hands travel down the shorter man's body, slipping underneath his t-shirt and bringing it up over his head. The kiss was only broken for a moment to get the material out of the way, and then they reconnected and moaned into each other's mouths. The SEAL's fingers investigated every inch of exposed skin on Danny's torso, holding him back against the fridge and stroking over his nipples and through his golden chest hair, tracing over his defined abs, and thumbs sliding into either side of the 'v' shape in the muscles which lead down into his jeans. He pressed his fingers into the flesh of the blonde's hips, making him sigh and break the kiss and meet his warm hazel eyes with those sharp blue ones.

"Steve, we don't have to-"

"I want to, Danny," he interrupted before the detective could get any further, "You don't understand how long I've wanted to..."

The shorter man's eyes flicked down his body and he licked his lips. "Oh, I think I'm right there with you, babe. But we don't have to rush this..."

"How long have we known each other, Danno? 'Cause I've wanted you from the day I met you, so if _this_ is rushing then I can't stand the idea of going slow." He began to kiss along his partner's stubbled jaw and up to his ear, whispering against his earlobe, "I'm ready if you are..."

"Fuck," Danny whined, "I've never been more ready for anything in my _life_..."

Steve took that as his cue to graze his teeth down the other man's neck, and Danny shivered with need as he kissed over his bare shoulder. His hands went to the blonde's jeans and unbuttoned the fly, fumbling with the zipper.

"Bedroom," the detective breathed, "not here."

The SEAL grabbed the shorter man's wrist and practically dragged him through the apartment, and when they got to the bedroom he shoved Danny onto the sheets, grasping his waistband and wrestling his jeans and boxers off as one. He flung them behind him and quickly shed his borrowed t-shirt and underwear, and they joined Danny's clothes on the floor.

He stilled suddenly, the flurry of activity coming to a halt, as he looked down on the naked man lying before him. He was perfect; compact muscle and golden hair, gloriously messy and panting and watching Steve with lustful eyes. It was hard to believe that less that twenty-four hours ago, he was still completely inaccessible to the Navy man. And now he was his.

Seeing Steve naked again was like a dream, standing there at the end of his bed. He'd seen him topless many times, the guy seemed to use any excuse to disrobe in front of his partner, and maybe they were both just discovering why; but this was different. Because now Danny got to touch as well as look, and he planned to do exactly that. Explore this man and find out what made him feel good, what made him squirm and sigh... They wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight, but at least this time it would be voluntary.

The blonde backed up the bed towards the headboard and his boss followed him, kneeling on the mattress and then stalking him on all fours, his muscular shoulders rolling smoothly and licking his lips like he was going to devour his prey, eat him alive.

And then he was on Danny, straddling his thighs, taking him down to the sheets and locking lips with him, kissing hard and nipping at his bottom lip until he permitted the brunette entry. He plundered his partner's mouth, hands squeezing and grasping and pulling at whatever exosed flesh and hair he could find. Danny whimpered under him, digging his fingers into his boss’s shoulders, and arched his back up. Steve slipped his arms under him and lifted his upper body off the bed as he trailed little nips over his jaw and down his throat, tearing moans and gasps from his friend.

He laid him back down and covered the detective's body with his own, pressing as much skin together as physically possible, their cocks gliding against one another while he sucked on the sensitive skin behind his ear.

"Oh, shit..." Danny gasped as the rough stubble scraping against his neck sent electricity shooting down his spine. He gripped the short hair at the back of Steve's head and pulled him back, clamping his own mouth onto his boss's neck and biting playfully, before creating his own tracks of nips and kisses over his throat and shoulder. He pushed the taller man up into a kneeling position and sat up below him, mouth now level with his pectorals, and he took one of the SEAL's nipples into his mouth, rolling his tongue over the hard nub and making him gasp out his name and grind his erection into Danny's stomach.

This elicited a moan from both of them, and one of Danny's hands nudged between them to slide up Steve's shaft.

But the brunette wanted this to be his partner's turn, so he pushed him back down to the bed. "Where are your condoms?" he gazed down at Danny with heavy-lidded eyes, and the blonde stuttered in surprise.

"My... I, uh, there..." he pointed to the bedside drawer on his side, brain short circuiting at the idea that this was going to be more than a blow job. This was... fantastic!

Steve moved off the bed and pulled a condom and bottle of lube from the drawer. He was back over Danny in seconds, ripping the packet open with his teeth and reaching between them, and the blonde jumped when the latex was rolled down his own shaft, making him gasp.

He looked down, confused, thinking Steve was going to be the one topping. "What the-"

But Steve's mouth was at his ear, hot breath skating over his neck and shoulder, raising goosebumps, his voice low and husky. "Do you want to fuck me, Danny?"

That was it, this had to be a dream. A really vivid, ridiculously erotic wet dream. Because there was no way he was being given the opportunity to be inside the man he'd wanted for so long, his boss, who always had to be in control whether at work or in day-to-day life. It was impossible. And yet...

He closed his eyes and pushed his head back into the mattress. "Oh, god... yes..."

Steve hummed happily and kissed under the blonde's jaw, and Danny grasped his shoulders and flipped them so he was on top, knees between the Navy man's thighs. He looked up the length of his partner, taking his whole body in all over again.

"You are fucking gorgeous..." he purred, and his eyes met Steve's hazel-grey stare, "Are you sure?" He refused to believe his luck, and had to make sure the other man had thought this through.

The SEAL pressed the bottle of lube into Danny's hand and licked his lips. "Yes," he whispered, "Definitely."

The detective quickly doused his fingers with the clear liquid, dribbling some onto his cock, and then Steve's, making him hiss from the cold gel.

"Sorry," he grinned, and slid his hand under his partner's balls, over his perineum, to massage around his hole. The other man hitched his knees up and tilted his hips to provide Danny better access.

Steve moaned and pressed against him, and he carefully pushed his middle finger inside him. The brunette winced a little, contracting around him for a moment and Danny stopped, waiting for the man to adjust. Once he'd relaxed again, and pushed in up to the knuckle and Steve groaned, gripping at the sheets. He must not have done this for a while...

Danny slid back out of him and began to slowly prep him, revelling in every second he got to be inside the brunette. He pushed in a second finger and Steve winced again, so he slipped his free hand around the SEAL's cock and massaged him to distract him. When both his fingers were deep in him, he searched for the man's sweet spot and found it.

Steve howled in pleasure and jumped about an inch off the bed. "Oh fuck, what was that??" He was wide eyed and panting hard.

Danny stared at him in disbelief, putting the clues together. "Steve, you... you have bottomed before, right?"

The brunette dropped his gaze to look at Danny's hand buried between his legs. "Um..." he mumbled.

"Shit, Steven, why did you not tell me?" The blonde carefully removed his fingers and his partner moaned unhappily at the loss.

His boss’s voice was almost a whisper. "I want it to be you, Danny. I want you to be my first..."

That stopped the detective in his tracks. The emotions running through him tugged at his heart and his stomach. Holy fuck, he really wanted that?

"Are you kidding me? This is a _big_ thing, Steve. You want me to take your..." he waved his hand over the brunette's body, "your _virginity_?" There was really no other way to put it...

"Yeah... I do," came the simple answer.

"Jesus fuck..." was all Danny could manage. He looked into Steve's eyes again and smiled warmly. "If you're absolutely sure. I'll look after you..."

Steve smiled, confident in his lover and encouraged by his reverence of the situation, he laid his head back and closed his eyes. "I know you've got me, Danno."

The blonde lifted his boss's hips up onto his knees and, using more lube, gently slid one digit back into him, followed soon after by the second. He also grasped Steve's cock and stroked him slowly, giving him the pleasure to distract him from the discomfort in his ass. He remembered his own first time, knowing the feeling could be off-putting if not handled right. After a few minutes, he added a third finger, carefully stretching Steve's ring and speeding up the hand on his dick to compensate. The brunette groaned, but it was the sound of pleasure, not pain.

He leaned down and licked a stripe up the underside of the SEAL's cock, drawing a long, delicious moan from the man.

"Oh fuck, Danny..." he whispered as the blonde kissed back down his length and ran his tongue over the head as he continued to massage the shaft with his hand.

"You ready, babe?" It felt like Steve was fully prepped, but it wasn't just about the physical stuff, he knew that.

Their eyes met again over the brunette's body and he smiled. "God, yes."

Danny crawled up over him and pressed his lips to his lover's, gently pushing his tongue between his lips and delving into his mouth. He kissed down his chest and knelt back upright, lifting Steve's hips higher and slipping a pillow underneath his lower back, positioning himself at his entrance, and grabbing the bottle for more lubrication.

"I'm gonna go slow, but you tell me if you want me to stop or slow it down, whatever you need, 'kay?" The Jersey man's voice was soft and caring, and Steve nodded and drew his lip into his mouth to chew on it in anticipation. He hadn't really considered how much it might hurt when he'd decided he wanted Danny to be the one to take him, but he was so glad the blonde had gone slowly, even before he knew it was Steve's first time, and that he hadn't rushed him, looking after him. It had been uncomfortable at first, and he wished he'd taken more care with the men he'd topped in his life, now that he'd experienced the other side. But he knew for the future. He knew for Danny.

The detective hooked his elbows under Steve’s knees, and then he was entering him, just as gentle as before, and caressing his cock where it lay leaking against his stomach so the pleasure eased the edge of pain from the stretch. Danny was big, although he'd done a lot to ease the feeling, he was still thicker than his three fingers, and Steve placed a hand on his stomach to stop him.

The blonde paused and Steve took a deep breath, trying to relax around him, and Danny bent his neck to kiss the inside of his knee delicately. When he was ready he moved his hand, and his partner eased forward again, watching his face cautiously.

Inch by inch, he took the whole of his lover's cock, until he was fully settled inside him with the blonde's hips flush to his ass. God it felt wonderful, being filled by his best friend, the man he trusted most in this world. He was thick and hot, tender and careful.

Danny was straining to stay still, wanting so much to thrust into the gorgeous man under him, but forcing himself to wait. His own first encounter had been rough and dirty, and the quarterback he’d been with hadn't been careful _or_ slow, and there was no way he was letting Steve get a bad experience after trusting him with something so important. They weren't horny kids under the bleachers. This would be better.

"Danny, I'm okay. You can move now," Steve's breathing was laboured, but he was pressing his heels into Danny's hips and urging him on.

As he slid back out and began to thrust gently, it felt like heaven. Steve was hot and tight, and the anticipation of it all meant that Danny didn't feel like he would last all that long, but luckily the way Steve was panting and flexing below him, it didn't look like he would either.

The blonde built a slow rhythm which felt good for both of them, constantly checking his partner for any signs of discomfort, but Steve was moaning with bliss and gripping at the sheets while Danny's hands were still under his ass.

The detective leaned forward, altering the angle and placing one hand on the SEAL's abs while the other matched the pace of his thrusts on the man's throbbing cock. He figured the slight position change must have meant he was hitting Steve's prostate, because the brunette cried out and his eyes shot open, grasping for Danny's hand on his stomach and tangling their fingers together.

The SEAL was trying to deal with all the delicious sensations; ecstasy coursing up his spine every time Danny brushed over that sweet spot, his strong hand wrapped around his sensitive cock, his own gasps and moans combining and mixing with the blonde's in some heavenly soundtrack to their love making, the feeling of his orgasm building low in his belly... he was close, so very close, and he screwed his eyes shut and held tight to Danny's hand and the sheets.

"Oh god, Danny. I'm gonna come. I love you so much, oh god-" His hips bucked upwards as his climax hit hard, and he cried out his lover's name as he came over his stomach and chest, Danny stroking him through as his muscles tensed and relaxed all over his body.

The feeling of Steve coming over his hand and his muscles contracting around him was incredibly stimulating, and Danny held on just long enough to watch the brunette's expression go lax and blissful before he allowed himself to fall over the edge he'd been dancing on. His orgasm hit like a freight train, he shouted Steve's name and thrust into him hard, burying himself as deep inside as he could, still holding onto his lover's hand as if keeping himself from floating away. He tried to pull out, but Steve’s heels on his lower back dragged him back in, and he released his heat into the gorgeous man below him as his hand moved from Steve's cock to the mattress to stop himself collapsing onto him.

He leaned down to lock lips with his boss, despite both of them trying desperately to heave oxygen back into their lungs, and their tongues ran other one another's languidly in between gasps and breaths.

Danny pulled out of Steve, disentangling their fingers so he could reach down to remove the condom and drop it in the waste basket before settling into the SEAL's side and sighing happily. That had been better than he could have imagined.

"You okay, babe?" He checked on his lover as he stroked fingers over his chest.

Steve was staring up at the ceiling, silently berating himself, because when all the blissful haze had cleared from his mind he remembered what he had called out as his release drew close. 'I love you'. They'd said it before, but it was always said lightly, usually followed by a 'buddy' or a pat on the back. Not in the throes of ecstasy, _that_ meant something different entirely. And the words lay heavy on his chest.

He'd been so afraid to lose Danny, all those nightmares, his brain had been screaming at him to never ever let this man go. They'd just found each other... but did his best friend really feel that way?

The blonde leaned up and turned concerned eyes on him. "Steve? I didn't hurt you, did I? Are you okay?"

"No, Danny. Not at all. I, uh..." he wouldn't meet that blue gaze. He couldn't believe that beautiful man thought he'd hurt him, done something wrong, when all he'd done was scare himself.

A look of realisation passed over the detective's features, and he smiled warmly. He kissed Steve on the lips, on the cheek, on his ear lobe, settling his head in next to him and whispering softly. "I love you too, just so you know..."

Steve let out a sigh of relief. "Fuck... I thought I'd screwed up there..."

The Jersey man laughed in his ear, "No babe, not even close. You were perfect, you always are."

But the brunette was still a little annoyed with himself. "I wanted to make that time about you, but you've ended up looking after me again, haven't you?" Steve looked a little down, but Danny kissed his cheek and chuckled.

"You can pay me back later if you really want, but I like taking care of you..."

The SEAL brightened a little. "Later, huh? I like the sound of that." He shifted onto his side to face the blonde and kissed him slowly, drawing the movements out into a languorous act of love. Eventually they pulled apart and Steve tucked Danny's head under his chin, wrapping his arms around his lover tightly while the detective did the same.

"Definitely _later_ though," Danny mumbled into his chest, "because I am tired as fuck..."

**Author's Note:**

> Well I hope you liked that! Please remember to leave comments and encouragement lol :)


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